Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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