It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
