Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
