i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
