Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
