Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was like eating out sand paper
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We had to coat check the pizza.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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