Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i think i just lost a toe
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
