Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
