id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
