So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This beer is not sobering me up at all
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
