he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A bitchslap is in order.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
