? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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