She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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