The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
