My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
