Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
