i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
