fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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