I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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