I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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