How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
