Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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