Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
