The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wear drunk well.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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