I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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