If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
