ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
