he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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