is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
