More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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