I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
