people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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