Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How does one acquire holy water?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
