Yo dont text me then not text me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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