My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
