Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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