I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
