i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
