My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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