Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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