She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
