So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
