I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I want her autograph on my taint
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
