I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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