i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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