normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
