He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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