we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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