No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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