So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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