y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
