Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
