Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
