I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
