she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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