my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize