I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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