his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize