Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
