ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
