Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
