that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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