the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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