Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
