Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize