you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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