Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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